User Profile

allgovernmentsLIE

Location:
Seattle, WA
Occupation:
Marketing/ PR
Gender:
Male
Birthday:
October 6 ,1986
Website:
www.flux.yelp.com
Hometown:
Glendora, CA
I can't live without:
metal, cartoons, my cats, and indica
I'm an expert at:
this
My fantasy hobby is:
being a viking. Or a space viking.
I go weak in the knees for:
nugs that look and smell like they got scooped out of a litterbox
My most prized possession is:
A jacket I [allegedly] stole from Disneyland's Club 33
Me described in one word:
Dope
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Member since:
Sep 2010
Dispensary Reviews:
14
Medicine Reviews:
25
Forum Posts:
19
Followers:
9
Following:
10

Dispensary & Marijuana Reviews

  • Reviewed 8/20/11

Dispensary Review:

The Apothecarium

Elegance In Cannabis Sales

Of all the dispensaries in the city, I think this may have the best location! SO easy to get to on the muni, and it's right there by the corner of Church and Market.
The registration process was quick and easy, though I must say that the membership agreement was the most unusual I have ever seen (there were a lot of business-related items in the contract regarding the company that manages the dispensary, most of which has nothing to do with medical cannabis laws. It's weird, read it).

I don't usually like atmosphere to be a major component of my dispensary reviews, but I wouldn't be doing the place justice if I didn't mention the fact that the interior is gorgeous. The only way to describe it is elegant. The motif is black and white, and when you order, you sit at a beautiful marble countertop with hand-held paper menus and magnifying glasses on it. I must admit, I am in love with the interior design of this place, but all I am interested in are medicine quality, menu organization, and budtender service/ knowledge.

The menu organization is just as elegant as the decor: a laminated paper menu with 2 pages of edibles, 2 pages of flowers (divided into indica, hybrid, and sativa), and another page or two for topicals and pre-rolls and stuff. The flowers on the menu all have beautifully-written short descriptions which describe both the taste and the effects/uses, and of course list the pricing as well. I think this was the best cannabis shopping experience I have had-- it felt like fine dining-- and I recommend it to new patients and connoisseurs alike.

As a die-hard indica user (insomnia, anxiety), I was VERY pleased by the fact that they placed OG Kush in the hybrid category and wrote "Despite its name, this strain is not a 'Kush' although it does possess some Indica traits." This is something you would NEVER see in LA (because they're retarded and think that having 100 kinds of OG is impressive), and something you rarely see in SF either because many dispensaries like Divinity Tree and Igzactly 420 like to list OG Kush [and its derivatives] as indicas, but they're just not useful for someone seeking a good indica effect.

Finally, The Apothecarium does something I wish more dispensaries did: act like a pharmacy. Not only was the cannabis put into medicine bottles that say "medical cannabis" on the lid, but they put printed labels on the bottles that have the patient's name, strain name, weight, and the dispensary's phone number. Those bottles are then placed into a paper pharmacy bag-- like the kind you get from Walgreens, though it mentions Prop 215 and SB 420 on the bag-- and then they staple it shut with your receipt on the outside. LEGIT.

Considering they have medicine options to work with ANY budget, the only thing I see as a "con" is the fact that sales tax is charged on top of the price and there are no signs or asterisks anywhere which indicated that to me before I purchased. SPARC does this too. If I were in their position, I would just include tax in the prices, or add a "prices do not include sales tax" notification on the bottom of every menu page.

Shit, all that and I forgot to talk about the medicine :P I got some Hindu Kush crossed with Hindu Skunk, and some Granddaddy Purple. I haven't tried the GDP yet, but it looks amazing. As for the Hindu, it's great medicine at a GREAT price! Don't worry, I'm certain you'll like what you get here.

PROS:
* Excellent location; easily accessible by MUNI
* Medicine options in various price ranges
* Quality flowers rich in mature trichromes
* Elegant, easy-to-understand menu
* Discreet packaging
* Very professional, helpful, and knowledgeable staff
* Free edible for your first visit

CONS
* Tax is not included in the prices, and you don't find that out until you're purchasing

EDIT 8.27.11: I went in yesterday, and the menus now say that purchases are subject to 8.5% sales along the bottom.

Last edited by allgovernmentsLIE on 11/26/13 at 12:01 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 4/23/11
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Master Kush

Dispensary:
Igzactly 420
Purchased: $45 Eighth
3
Strength
I+S
Type
Sw
Flavor
C
Density

Heavy? Not Igzactly.

Not the most beautiful bud on the block, but the flavor is intense! This is actually a very common occurrance at Igzactly 420. Rich, gooey trichromes can be seen upon microscope inspection.

When I first starting using this flavor, it was incredibly heavy and was great for my insomnia, but it become more and more uplifting the more I used it. This sometimes happens with me when I use kushes (specifically OG and OG crosses), so if I were to label it, I would say it's an indica-dominant hybrid (maybe 75%). Otherwise, I think it's a great flavor and I would recommend it to any patient who is interested.

Last edited by allgovernmentsLIE on 11/24/13 at 3:17 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 4/23/11
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Flat Top Purple

Dispensary:
HopeNet
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

It's Tops

Gorgeous! Color isn't everything, but it is always nice when you buy a purple that has a beautiful, natural purple hue to it. The buds have dramatic orange hairs, like many of the other purples I've reviewed. Under the microscope, the trichromes are clear and bulbous and look much like morning dew.

The taste is light and sweet, the typical purple flavor that I describe as "Skittles." The effect is heavy, sedative, and relaxing; this flavor was great at battling my insomnia and it helped me sleep very well!

  • Reviewed 3/6/11
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Afberry

Purchased: $50 4 Grams
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Tastes Like Candy

This has got to be the single most flavorful indica I have ever tried! The taste is like fresh oranges with a touch of mintiness, which is absolutely unheard of for an indica (which more often than not have a light sweetness or a sour kushy taste to them)! If that's not good enough, the effect is very relaxing and more on the heavy side. The flower itself is absolutely gorgeous, and you don't even need a microscope to see the frosty trichromes all over it. The buds sort of smell like oranges too :)

They ran out of this stuff VERY quick. I went back the next day for more and they were already out! Highly recommend it!

The one thing I don't like about Shambhala is that their menu only says indica and sativa with no mention of hybrids, so I can't say for sure that this is a pure indica. If I had to guess, I would say it's probably a pure indica, though it does have a touch of the "smilies" in it (not so much uplifting, but a mood elevator).

  • Reviewed 2/28/11

Dispensary Review:

Shambhala Healing Center

Balla!!

Even after I visited the first time, I had to look up the name like 40 times. Couldn't remember it for the life of me. "Shambhala" is not a stoner-friendly word :) Quite the contrary.

As of the time I write this, this place is San Francisco's newest dispensary, having only been open for about 5 weeks. After the 5-minute signup process, I went into the dispensary, which looked clean and sterile like SPARC, but had the same setup as Medithrive. The menu was on a TV screen, divided into Indica and Sativa... no Hybrid category. I HIGHLY doubt they only have pure indicas, pure sativas, and no hybrids at all. Splitting the menu into only those 2 categories causes serious problems (see my Medithrive review), so minus one star. I know they're the new guys in town, but that's an easy rookie mistake to fix :)

So that made it harder for me to shop, as my type is strictly the heaviest indica I can find, so I had to chat up the budtender to find what I'm looking for. The gentleman who assisted me was very friendly, helpful, and patient. I bought some fabulous-looking Purple Erkel, and got a sample of Headband for my first visit :) They now accept debit and credit cards too, which is always a timesaver.

The quality of the buds I got were excellent! Looked great, tasted great, smelled great, and very potent stuff! This place would undoubtedly get 5 stars from me if they added a hybrid category to their menu, especially while it's still early. Be sure to check this place out, and good luck remembering the name :)

PROS:
* Great medicine quality and prices.
* Tax is included in prices.
* Accept Credit/ Debit cards
* They sell papers, pipes, and anything you might need.
* Helpful staff.
* Medicine comes in tins (like Medithrive).

CONS
* Their menu does not accurately reflect their medicine purity (they need a hybrid category).

  • Reviewed 2/15/11

Dispensary Review:

Igzactly 420

Hell Yeah

I'm always looking for the best quality cannabis, and having already been everywhere, I was thrilled to hear about a new dispensary that opened and had to go check it out ASAP.

Before I talk about the buds, I have to say that this place has a serious marketing problem: They boast the fact that they're the first dispensary in the Financial District (more like SOMA, but still), yet their website is in flash with graffiti-style fonts everywhere, and not to mention the ridiculous name of the place. Business people have smartphones (probably iPhones), and flash doesn't work on iPhone. Even if they could see your site from their phone, they probably wouldn't feel comforted by all the hip-hop graffiti typeface. I'm just saying that they're missing some opportunities as the only club in the Financial District. But I digress.

I went around 6pm, so parking was very easy. Registration took maybe 3 minutes. The place is actually smaller than I was expecting, but it's really nice. The atmosphere is [in my opinion] cooler than Medithrive, but not as cool as SPARC. The menu is very well organized on TV screens (but it could be a little more organized), and there are several small glass jars in the counter for you to browse, kind of like SPARC does.

Everyone in the dispensary was incredibly warm, friendly, and passionate! They know their stuff, and they're excited to help you find the right medicine for you! The gentleman who helped me suggested a flavor called Tora Bora for my insomnia, which is actually the least expensive indica they carry at $33 an eigth. It looked excellent, so I had to ask why it's so cheap. His response was they just have great deals like that all the time. I'll give that response a B+. The prices cap out at $50 an eigth (with tax not included).
He bagged it in a Capri Sun pouch thingy and wrote "Tora Bora" in the very same lettering from the website. I understand now.

So I wanted to use the Volcano over by the huge aquarium, but it was in use, so I used some other vaporizer called a Zephyr Ion. The vaporizer was ehhhh-- effective, but it's no Volcano. The weed itself was PHENOMENAL!! I couldn't believe the explosion of flavor!!! Pakistani crossed with LA Confidential sure does make one incredible taste!

I'll definitely be back. Tonight.

PROS:
* Open 10am to 10pm!
* GREAT quality buds
* Cool vaping lounge with a huge aquarium
* Very friendly staff
* Organized menu on TV Screens
* 15% off next purchase with Yelp review (I don't mind telling you that)

CONS:
* Not all their vaporizers are Volcano :/
* Like SPARC, tax is not included, and you don't find that out until you purchase.

  • Reviewed 2/15/11
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Purple Max

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I+S
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Maximus!!

80% Indica, 20% Sativa, 100% Mindblowing.

Look at that photo! This is one that needs to be seen to believed! The buds are a rich lavender color with dramatic orange hairs and insane trichromes all over. The taste is very, very light, but it's got the purple flavor ("Skittles") and a hint of garlic.

Strong as hell, but not completely debilitating. I really like smoking or vaping this one during the day, as it relieves my anxiety and gives me just a hint of a mood lifter. This is the kind of bud that you show off to everyone you know, because it's BALLER.

  • Reviewed 2/15/11
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Grandaddy Purple

Dispensary:
Grass Roots Clinic
Purchased: $45 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
C
Density

Solid

Pretty much every dispensary carries this strain, and Grass Roots' is probably my favorite. Though it's not very purple in color, it has lots of sugary trichromes all over the body and that light, sweet purple taste ("Skittles) that many have come to love.

I can't say it's the single heaviest, sleepiest GDP of any dispensary, but my favorite crop as far as the quality.

Last edited by allgovernmentsLIE on 11/24/13 at 3:47 PM Pacific

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Pure Kush

Dispensary:
Grass Roots Clinic
Purchased: $45 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
So
Flavor
F
Density

Delicious

I got some incredible Pure Kush from The Divinity Tree a few months ago, so I jumped on this crop from Grass Roots right when I saw it. Aesthetically, it's a little leafy and stringy, but the color is that gorgeous fluorescent seafoam color and you can see the crystals on it from across the room. The taste is sweet: mainly lemon-lime (sweet and sour) with a hint of mint.

Good effect, but nothing sensational. Honestly, I overwhelmingly prefer the one I got from The Divinity Tree.

  • Reviewed 1/22/11
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FD-50 (Fatal Dose 50)

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
D
Density

Death By Cannabis

Holy shit. This one's a keeper. The buds are from the same farmer who grew Super Dope, so they are the DENSEST nugs I have ever seen. Seriously, they're really tough to break up! In fact, the density combined with the crater-riddled appearance make this flower look like moon rocks! They even have a spacey greenish glow. As you can see from the photo, every nook and cranny of this flower is filled with fully matured, sugary-looking trichromes.

As for the taste, I still can't really place it. It tastes like pure keif. I've gone through 3/8 of an oz and it made me cough like hell every single time. It's not harsh, just POWERFUL! It feels like you're smoking a bowl with hash on it every single time... I honestly would advise against rolling it up in a joint. Maybe a subtle "floral" taste? That's what people say when they can't place the taste of a strain :)

The effect, of course, is damn near narcotic. Bye bye to anxiety and insomnia! This is what I call grade A+ medical-strength cannabis!! I highly, highly recommend this flavor (no pun intended).

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Emerald

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $50 Quarter
2
Strength
I+S
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

What A Gem!

I'll start off by saying that I've a huge fan of SPARC's $40 and $50 quarters of outdoor, but this is-- to put it delicately-- way the fuck better! I'm not bagging on SPARC's outdoor at all, because they're still good, but this is top shelf outdoor that's great for rolling joints (or maybe even a pipe bowl. It's okay in a bong). Definitely perfect for vaporizing!

The buds are tight (but large) and bright green. Microscope inspection reveals tons of sticky trichrome goodness, sure to give you the most bang for our buck :) The taste is light and sweet and almost reminded me of cream or the custard-y filling inside of an eclair... I guess it sort of tastes like a pastry, but again, subtle flavor.

Very mellow effect that's relaxing without being too sedative, and the balance of sativa makes it just uplifting enough without making my heart beat faster. Great stuff!! The only reason it's not 5 stars is because it's not super strong, but by that standard, it's damn near impossible for any "rolling weed" to get 5 stars.

  • Reviewed 1/22/11
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The Daddy

Dispensary:
The Divinity Tree
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Who's Your Daddy?

This has been one of my favorite flavors from The Divinity Tree (though I've loved everything I've had from there). The buds look insane, like a cartoon rendering of a badass nug. Very dark tones, though not very purple, and thick red hairs everywhere. Under the microscope, there were lots of gooey-looking trichromes all over the place.

Tastes very strong, as in potent, with a subtle fruity taste. Very heavy sedative effect that knocks out my insomnia with ease, as well as reduce my general anxiety. I've purchased this flavor maybe 3 times already because it's strong and effective. I recommend it!

  • Reviewed 12/20/10

Dispensary Review:

The Divinity Tree

Truly Divine

This club is truly excellent. They gotta be in fierce competition with GrassRoots, which is just around the block, and they do manage to stay very competitive. I believe you need a plastic recommendation card to get in, like Medicann or the state one, but I am not 100% certain.

The place is tiny, maybe a third the size of GrassRoots, and their selection of buds are all very strong, with $50 an eighth being the price cap. Actually, they do have some reserve buds in a glass jar under the counter at $55 an eighth as well. Every flavor I've tried of theirs looks stunning under microscope inflection, and all the medicine is of remarkable strength!

The staff are friendly, knowledgable, and help you get in and out quickly. My only complaints would be the location of crackhead central, and I don't find the menu to be well organized and typically have to chat with the budtenders to find what I'm looking for.

PROS:
* STRONG meds. Seriously.
* Great prices
* Speedy transaction
* Open 7 days a week
* You can probably buy crack and a tranny hooker just outisde the club (oh wait, that would be a CON)

CONS:
* Menu could be better organized

  • Reviewed 12/18/10
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Purple Cream

Dispensary:
The Divinity Tree
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Cream of The Crop

The first thing to note is how incredibly dense the nuggets are; my eighth was mainly one nug that didn't even look that big, but it was still over 3.5 grams when I checked it on my scale at home. A lot of indicas I get are dense with a level of squishiness or resilience, but these are just plain DENSE (but they don't break off crunchy and powdery). Excellent consistency.

The buds have beautiful purple hues throughout, not just in spots. The taste was hard for me to classify for the longest time because it really just tastes like straight-up trichromes-- like it has a sort of kushy taste, but lighter, and very strong effect. The smoke is very rich and sometimes hard to hold in. Despite the prevalent kushy taste of trichromes, there's a subtle taste of purple (like Skittles) that reminds me very much of Ken's Granddaddy Purp.

Of course, what makes me give a strain 5 stars is not just how it looks, smells, and tastes, but how it FEELS. This is one heavy indica with intense sedative qualities that are ideal for anxiety, calming tense muscles, and just relaxing in general.

An excellent flavor! It's kind of hard to explain, but the overall feeling is very calm and gentle while being intensely relaxing at the same time.

  • Reviewed 12/2/10
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Purple Princess

Dispensary:
Grass Roots Clinic
Purchased: $49 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

One Of Grass Roots' Best Indicas

Though the name of this flavor is somewhat girly and, well, childish, this flower is anything but. Now, I do NOT know this for a fact, but I THINK that Grass Roots is the exclusive carrier of Purple Princess, because I haven't seen it anywhere else and they tend to keep it in stock (but never for long, it goes fast as a GR patients' favorite).

She truly is beautiful. Majestic shades of violent throughout the buds, with a very light scent that's sweet and citrusy. The taste is incredibly light, but the effect is very strong. Super mellow, soothing, relaxing feeling... the kind of indica that really helps unclench uptight muscles from a long day of work as well as relax your mind. Reminds me quite a bit of Ken's Granddaddy Purp from GDP Collective (I'd swear it's a clone, but I have nothing to back that up), though it's less expensive and easier to get a hold of if you're in The City.

  • Reviewed 11/13/10
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BC Northern Lights + Purple Kush ("Sweet Donna")

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Sleep Well, Insomniacs!!

I am sincerely impressed by this flavor! It's interesting to me how heavy an indica this is, considering it's the Northern Lights in its genetics. My understanding is that Northern Lights is usually a hybrid and not typically on the heavy indica side, but I really can't argue with the results! I've also never had BCNL, so it might be entirely different from the NL I'm used to.

The farmer didn't have a name for the strain, so the Canny Bus owner named it "Sweet Donna" after Laura Prepon's character from "That 70's Show." I think the name "Lights Out" is perfect for this flower, and I suggested it, but it only stuck for 2 days as the name of "Sweet Donna" was more popular. I don't care if it were named "Dirty Bunghole," this is one of the best varieties I've ever had for insomnia, if not THE best!

The nugs are dense and hairy, and give off a zesty scent, almost like oranges. The taste is very light, with a mild sweetness and a hint of rosemary. The effect is EXACTLY what I want in my medicine! I've been sleeping 2 to 4 hours earlier all week! I picked up another half ounce, because it's too strong to even build too much of a tolerance for. I love it. Sweet Donna is my new best friend, and I'd recomend getting your hands on it now as the farmer didn't clone it :/

  • Reviewed 11/6/10
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Ken's Granddaddy Purp™

Purchased: $55 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Believe The Hype

I received a sample of this flavor at the International Cannabis and Hemp Expo. This was by far the smallest sample I got at INTCHE (at 0.4 grams), but easily the best. A strain that's been trademarked has a lot of hype to live up to, but I was very impressed. The buds are super purple-- cartoonishly purple-- and covered in frosty trichromes and bright orange hairs. The smell has a light sweetness, and the taste is sweet, smooth, and easy to take.

The effect is very heavy- like a perfect indica; it practically melts your stress and anxiety away. Soothing, relaxing, and great for pain relief. This bud is seriously PHENOMENAL. It's a modern medical miracle. I called this number (707-877-6344), spoke with Ken himself, and he directed me to a dispensary in San Jose called "Patient to Patient" where I could purchase this mythical strain.

Take my advice: go out of your way to try it.

  • Reviewed 11/4/10
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Grandaddy Purple

Dispensary:
Medithrive DIRECT
Purchased: $1 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Good, But "Iffy"

I got this eighth for free to make up for the Ron Burgundy that I was very unsatisfied with.

The nugs are SUPER dense with neon-orange hairs all over. Most everything I buy is dense, but this stuff is crazy. It's the kind of weed where you put a small bead in the grinder and get a huge heap of herb out of it- every time! I could never gauge it! It doesn't smell very strong until you grind it up, then it has a beaitiful "grape" purple-y smell.

I like the taste of this bud, it has light, fruity notes. It's really a hybrid, but the effect is pretty heavy. Doubt that I would go back for this variety, but I do enjoy it. It's one of those flavors for me that got less potent the more you used it, which is not characteristic of the types of buds I usually smoke.

I think I like SPARC's better, but I like Grass Roots' better than SPARC's.

  • Reviewed 10/27/10
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Blue Lightning

Dispensary:
Grass Roots Clinic
Purchased: $54 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

A Heavy-Hitting Must Have

I've been in and out of Grass Roots for a few years, and sampled this flavor once before, but never purchased an eighth of it until recently. Their less expensive buds are just SO damn good, I never needed a reason to purchase top shelf, but I decided to pick up some Blue Lightning to try something new.

The smell and taste are phenomenal; somewhat citrusy. These are the kinds of nugs that microsopes were made for, as the surface is covered with thick, dramatic trichromes bursting from every direction with lots of big, gooey heads. Flawless.

The effect is great! I'm very sensitive to sativas and generally avoid hybrids, but this is SUPER heavy with a slight lift-- again, not in the hybrid sort of way, if it makes any sense. I guess one way of describing it would be a mega-downer weed with a hint of the smilies thrown in.

The price says $60, but it's actually $54 because of the GR discount.

  • Reviewed 10/24/10
Normal-1289689616
Dispensary:
SPARC
Purchased: $33 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
D
Density

DANK

I just picked up an eighth of this flavor using my $25 off reward, so I only paid $33 (after tax) instead of the regular $60 (after tax), which is awesome because I like buds to cap out at $55 an eighth MAX and having to pay tax on top of that is a deal breaker for me. I don't live in LA anymore, and I'm not paying LA prices.

The reason I picked this flavor over Cotton Candy is because of it's smell. Awesome!! It's that stinky, cheesy, musty, dank smell, like Ingrid or UK Cheese. I disagree with the menu description of fluffy consistency, because these nuggets are pretty dense; fluffy nugs are airy and easy to pull apart, but these buds take a little bit of effort to break up.
I don't know that I agree with the flavor description of minty. Not that it's wrong, it's just that the taste is very difficult to categorize as sweet, sour, minty, or spicy; it's really more... "cheesy," I suppose? Maybe StickyGuide should add that as a flavor, haha.

My microscope inspection revealed plenty of gorgeous, matured trichromes that were either perfectly clear or hazy and sugary-looking. Excellent crop!

EXCELLENT for anxiety, and I have no doubt that it will help me sleep incredibly well tonight. This truly is some exemplary medicine, though I personally wouldn't want to pay more than $50 or $55 an eighth for it.

  • Reviewed 10/23/10
Normal-1289689733

Ron Burgundy

Dispensary:
Medithrive DIRECT
Purchased: $50 Eighth
2
Strength
S+I
Type
Sw
Flavor
C
Density

If This Is A Pure Indica, Then I've Finally Gone Insane

This flavor was reccomended to me as a pure indica which would help with my insomnia without having to pay $60 for 4 grams. I don't want to go into the story in detail here, but please refer to my Medithrive review to read about my Ron Burgundy tale.

To make the long story short, this is not a pure indica, and it is 100% ineffective for treating INSOMNIA. It may be effective for occasional sleeplessness-- having trouble sleeping once in a blue moon-- but not insomnia-- which is not being able to sleep EVERY single night of the year, year after year. Insomniacs NEED a pure indica to fall asleep. Period. Even that's not foolproof, but it sure as hell helps!

Not only had 2 seperate budtenders told me it was an indica, but their very own menu on StickyGuide stated that Ron Burgundy is indeed a hybrid. They've since changed it to pure indica, probably anticipating that I would review the medicine after my review of their dispensary, but luckily, I thought ahead to take a screenshot of the menu page before they changed it: http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n35/satansaves/ronburgundy2.png

Now that that is aside, I can review the bud itself. I must say, it looks, smells, and tastes great. The bud has gorgeous tints of purple throughout, and it smells and tastes fruity. Really, I like everything about Ron Burgundy, except the effect. The high is very mild, almost the equivalent of not smoking at all. Not stony and heavy at ALL, at least not for an hour or so after smoking it, and then it's really more "relaxing" than heavy. Not only is this not a pure indica, I don't even think this is an indica-dominant hybrid, I think it has to be sativa-dominant. I also had other friends try it and they agreed that it feels like mostly sativa.

For me, it had zero medicinal value (actually, more like negative medicinal value because sativa just makes my anxiety and insomnia worse than they already are), though it MIGHT be a nice lift for some? I don't recommended it to anyone who is looking for an indica, or even an indica-dominant hybrid.

  • Reviewed 10/21/10

Dispensary Review:

Medithrive DIRECT

The Indicatrarian's Tale

Get cozy, because this is one hell of a long review (too long for Yelp, even).

PART 1 (my unedited initial review):
A friend of mine has been frequenting Medithrive for a while and says she really likes it, so I decided to check it out yesterday for the first time. The signup process wasn't as quick as I was hoping, but it was easy.

The main thing people talk about when they review Medithrive is the atmosphere, and I must say, I really wasn't impressed. Not to say the atmosphere isn't well dressed, but painting the walls burnt orange isn't enough to make me a repeat customer. I'm a hard sell: I don't care about gimmicks (free programs like yoga, 4 gram eighths, etc), all I care about are medicine quality, knowledgeable staff, and an accurate and organized menu. These are the only criteria I base my ratings on, though I try to always list perks that are available from each dispensary in my reviews.

The menu is on a video screen, which is cool, but it was divided into 2 sections instead of 3: "indica/ hybrid" and "sativa/hybrid". *RED FLAG* I still wanna try this place out and get my freebies for my first time (only the edible for the Sticky coupon, they were out of pre-rolls for the first time visitors), but I am in shock at the prices. I mean, I've looked at their menu on StickyGuide before, so I knew in advance that their eighths are all 4 grams, which of course raises the prices, and I saw that all the pure indicas they have are $60 an eigth.

I told the budtender that I do not pay Los Angeles prices for buds in SF, that I'm seeking a heavy indica for my insomnia (and also anxiety), and that I do not like sativas at all because they only make insomnia and anxiety worse. I was saying this because I was prepared to thank her for her time and head to another dispensary for some dank pure indica at a reasonable price. This was after she suggested several hybrids for my insomnia, stating the "uplifting" effect as a benefit. It's a huge peeve of mine when I tell a budtender that I am treating insomnia/ anxiety and they reccomend something "uplifting," like that's a selling point to someone that can't fucking SLEEP and is totally neurotic all the time.

She looked at me like she understood my needs exactly, nodded her head, and said that Ron Burgundy has the heavy effect I'm looking for and will help my insomnia. I still wasn't really buying it, but I must admit that I was intrigued by the 4-way genetic cross of different purples. I know purple doesn't nessecarily mean pure indica as well, but I figured I would try this anyway if she thinks it will work. $50 for 4 grams is not bad at all!

3am that night; my brain is still wide awake from the stresses lf the day and the anxieties of tomorrow. I smoked 2 bong-loads of Ron Burgundy in quick successtion to get an intesne sedative effect and laid down in bed. 4am; my brain is still racing as if I were dead sober. I trusted the budtender, and she sold me medicine that does not fit my needs at all.

Today, I tried calling Medithrive several times only to reach a constant busy signal. I went to Medithrive with the remainder of my eighth and spoke with a gentleman about my situation with hopes that I could perhaps return it or exchange it for an actual indica. The first thing he said is that Ron Burgungy is actually a pure indica, to which I replied that their own StickyGuide menu names Ron Burgundy as an indica-dominant hybrid. They HAVE since edited it since this review has been written, here's a screenshot for proof: http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n35/satansaves/ronburgundy2.png. Caught! Another gentleman said that all of their indica-dominant hybrids are good for insomnia.

O _ O

Are you kidding me? If that's what you think, you are seriously undereducated on the uses of indica and sativa and you obviously don't know shit about how insomnia works. Indica dominant hybrids are NOT good enough for insomnia... it's like suggesting a sleeping pill that contains a percentage of caffeiene. My insomnia doesn't say, "oh, well that's 70% indica, so good enough! Let's go to bed!" That's not how it works. It's more like, "well well well! it looks like there's some sativa in here! Let's keep on thinking and being wide awake and anxious all night!!!" If you believe that a hybrid is good enough for somebody with insomnia, then you yourself must have only experienced some OCCASIONAL SLEEPLESSNESS in your life. Must be nice.

This is not a stupid mistake, this is a huge deal! When dealing with medical cannabis and medical cannabis patients, it is the partial responsibility of the dispensary and the budtenders to know the basic differences between indica and sativa, what they treat, and provide the patient with the proper medicine. If I come to your bar looking for a glass of red wine, don't sell me on a glass that's 20% white wine... that's a rosé! A rosé is neither a white wine or a red wine, it's a bastardizd blend! I asked for a RED wine, not a "mostly" red wine (I'm really a beer and whisky guy, by the way).

Anyway, I told them that I'm really not trying to be a jerk and that I just want the right medicine. I entirely understand that most dispensaries have an all sales final policy, but there are some very compassionate dispensaries that will let you make returns if you don't like the meds and I was checking to see if they were one of those.

He said that I can't return the remainder of the Ron Burgundy, and suggested I try their Burkle for insomnia. I told him as well that I am not paying LA prices in SF and I don't see the 4-gram eighth as that big a benefit. $60/4 grams=$15 a gram, $15 a gram x 3.5 grams=$52.50 eighth... so I suppose they're baaarely within the compassionate price range, though having to pay more for a 4 gram eigth isn't any more convenient for me like they claim it is... it would be more convenient if I could pay $50 for 3.5 grams.
So I left with the damn hybrid in my pocket and went to Grass Roots to get some PURE INDICA.

Despite the "medi" in Medithrive, I think the staff needs some serious education on how to effectively treat their patients unique symptoms. I'm annoyed with myself for letting the budtender talk me into buying a hybrid. 4 stars is generous, I'd rather give them a 3.5/5.

-----------------------------------------------------

Part 2:
Since that review was written, the manager contacted me about my review. He professionally acknowledged my concerns, acknowledged the mistake, apologized, and offered me a complimentary eighth (4 grams) of my choice. I REALLY appreciated that! The original title of my review was "More Like Malprac-dithrive," but that is no longer a fitting title.

I went and met the manager, a nice guy named Stephen, who directed me to a budtender and told him that I get a complimentary eighth. I told the bartender that I'm looking for a heavy, heavy indica-- the heaviest they have (I don't think I mentioned sleep or insomnia that time, I think I wasn't in the mood to talk about it or something). He said that he doesn't think any of the buds they had at that time were pure indica-- which I can't say I'm thrilled about, but I'm very glad he told me! He suggested Big Romulan for sleep, and Stephen suggested their GDP for my needs (which I didn't realize they had a GDP). I went with the GDP, as it's something of the "indica standard" at dispensaries, despite varying qualities.

The nugs were crazy dense! Check out my medicine review for it!

Overall, I can't say that Medithrive fully suits my need for pure indica (I've even come to terms with the fact that the 4 gram eighth is actually pretty cool, even if it's kinda pricey), but I'll definitely be back in the future. I went by for their Giants special (it was $25 for 4 grams of shake that day) as well as the Halloween promotion, which they initially advertised as a joint, but changed to a nice sample of Big Romulan. Sweet!

Best hours of any other dispensary in SF. Hands down. They deserve a solid 4 stars- no more, no less.

PROS:
* Open 7 days a week until 9pm!
* Convenient, discreet location
* Easy to find parking
* Friendly staff
* Medicine comes in cool tins

CONS:
* Menu could be better organized
* Staff isn't as knowledgeable as they could/should be
* No price breaks

  • Reviewed 9/30/10
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Super Dope

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $45 Eighth
3
Strength
S+I
Type
Mn
Flavor
D
Density

It's A Bird, It's a Plane, It's... Me?! SUUPERR DOOOPE!!!

(aka "Super Meds", as the dispensary owner prefers to call it)

The name reminds me of that line in Pineapple Express: "Hands down, dopest dope I ever smoked. Dopest dope I ever smoked." I am a die-hard indica enthusiast, and this 80% sativa hybrid took me on a wonderful journey and taught me that not all sativas have to feel like straight-up crack. Indica relieves my anxiety, wheras sativa typically exacerbates it-- though not with Super Dope!

The name "Super Dope" even holds true at a microscopic level: the trichromes don't have space between each other like they usually do on buds, they're bunched close together and look like they exploded in every direction. Talk about a sticky bomb!! The nugs are truly the DENSEST I have ever seen in my life; the dispensary owner joked that I'd need a razorblade to cut them because the grinder won't work.

The taste is unique: it has that familiar lemon flavor that you get from sativas, but it also has an overwhelming minty quality to it as well... it almost tastes like a toothpaste. The high is equally unique; as this flavor contains 24% THC, it definitely gives euphoria and an uplifting sensation that's mellow and not intense. Though I still can't understand how, it's surprisingly heavy for how alert the effects are. Excellent for depression! Try it, and you won't be disappointed.

  • Reviewed 9/28/10

Dispensary Review:

Vapor Room

A Modern San Francisco Icon

I'm gonna go ahead and call The Vapor Room overrated. *gasp* "Blasphemy!" The atmosphere is definitely well thought out and highly efficient, the medicine is good, the people are friendly, yes yes...

It's a great club, it genuinely is, but I have trouble seeing the "single price" as an advantage. While it ensures a specific level of medicine quality, one can never be sure they truly are getting the quality they are paying for. I haven't been in a year, but I know from StickyGuide (thank you, StickyGuide) that their eighths are now up to $55.
The advantage, obviously, is knowing exactly how much your weed is going to cost, but my problem with the scenario is that they can slip in buds worth $50 an eighth here and there, but they'll never throw in $60 an eighth quality for the price, you know what I'm saying? The socialist approach to marijuana pricing doesn't work because I can't tell how "good of a worker" that weed is or if it "slacks on the job." It's all about marijuana capitalism.... shut up, you know what I mean.
Their bud presentation is well-organized: arranged from indica to sativa and color-coded labels.

There really is nothing like a leisurely day in Lower Haight though. Stopping into Vapor Room, picking up a little something, taking a seat at one of the tables with the adorable miniature metallic-green Volcanoes, loading it up, and spending countless minutes staring into the aquarium before finishing up and moving on the the fabulous Lower Haight bar scene. Ahh, that's beautiful.

The Vapor Room is a definite spot to "hang out" for an hour with a friend, if your friends are medical status as well. I spent some time there with a friend before they remodeled the place and we stumbled out of it as if we'd been taking shots of whiskey the whole time. Very fun.

PROS:
* Onsite vapor lounge (best in SF) with LOTS of Volacanoes
* Awesome location: next to food, bars, and 2 other dispensaries
* Delivery service available

CONS:
* Single-pricing: You will NOT spend less than $55 an eighth
* Somewhat static selection

  • Reviewed 9/28/10

Dispensary Review:

Bernal Heights Collective

A Little Slice of Amsterdam

I just visited today for the first time, after receiving a coupon for $5 off or a free joint at the International Cannabis and Hemp Expo yesterday. I didn't need to do any kind of a signup process for my first visit, so that was convenient.

I looked at their choices, which were not well-organized all all for price and indica/sativa proportions. They had sample-bags of pre-weighed eighths under the glass counter, with small glass jars behind them with nugs for smelling or seeing up close. They had specials like $35 eighth of shake and $40 eighth of Orange Crush, but overall I found the prices to be a little high, so I took my free gram joint.

This dispensary repeatedly boasts 2 competencies in all of its advertisements: 1) a lounge to smoke and relax in, and 2) $5 gram joints, so I came to be critical of whether either of these 2 things are any good.
The lounge is actually cool; it can comfortably seat at least 10 people or so, and there are 4 digital Volcanoes for patients to use as well as an assortment of glass bongs. For a "stoner lounge," they keep it very clean. A staff member was actually cleaning a bong while I was there, so I assume they clean their pieces regularly. There's a water dispenser, but no bathroom.

The joint was a 1-gram cone and it came in a Doob Tube. I lit it up, half expecting it to taste like terrible trim, though it really wasn't a bad joint. I mean, it probably WAS rolled with leaf or something, but I'm not complaining considering it was free, and I still wouldn't be complaining if I had purchased it for $4 or $5. I actually got very lifted off that joint: it brought me way up and actually made me crash about 20 minutes later... it's like the energy drink of fatties.

They have happy hour every day from 4:20pm to 5:20pm ($1 off joints and edibles), and patients who purchase over $250 get a free t-shirt.

As far as "professionalism" (mainly keeping the menu very organized for a patient's needs), this dispensary is lacking. However, I enjoyed my experience and I will be returning because it reminds me very much of the 3 trips I took to Amsterdam. There's even a cafe right across the street, so you could have even more of an Amsterdam experience in San Francisco by toking up and walking over to the cafe for tea or munchies.

PROS:
* Smoking and vapor lounge with Volcanoes and bongs
* $5 joints
* Awesome hours: 8am -8pm
* Happy hour daily from 4:20pm to 5:20pm ($1 off joints and edibles)
* Cafe across the street and Safeway around the corner

CONS:
* Pricey buds (quality meds start at $50)
* Unorganized menu

  • Reviewed 9/28/10
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3X Crazy

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I+S
Type
So
Flavor
D
Density

A MUST For Connoisseurs!

(a.k.a. Optimus Prime)

Incredible. This is hand-down the best-looking and best-tasting bud I've had in at least a year. The texture is dense, but still soft and a little fluffy-- almost like chewing gum. The color is a very deep purple with dramatic orange hairs. Upon looking at it under the microscope, my first 4 words were, "Holy shit! HOLY SHIT!" It's that good. under the scope, it looks like bondage weed made from black leather and studs. It even seems like there are 3 times as many trichromes as I'm used to seeing on meds! Well-matured crystals; mostly clear bulbous heads with several frosted heads resembling granulated sugar.

It's named "Three Times Crazy" because it is bred from Granddaddy Purple, Bubba Kush, and OG Kush, and you really can tell from the effect and the way it tastes. The smoke is medium-bodied, the exhale tastes like a very flavorful purple ("skittles" taste), but it also has that sour kushy taste from the OG. Wow!! The effect starts off on the upper-side (probably from the OG) and then plunges you down into a deep, heavy indica effect.

Writing about this flavor really does it no justice, you need to try it while you can!

  • Reviewed 9/26/10
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Black Domina

Dispensary:
HopeNet
Purchased: $50 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

It Dominates

I came to HopeNet for the first time 2 weeks ago specifically to try this flavor.
When I got it, I must say that it must photograph better than it looks with the naked eye, because it didn't look like dank-ass $50 an eighth weed, but I know that appearance has nothing to do with effect. Looking at it under the microscope, I was blown away by it's long, thick, in-your-face trichromes that-- again-- I really don't notice with the naked eye.

The fruity smell is intoxicating, and the taste is even better. Let me tell you, I consider myself to be "King Indica", and this flavor is SUPREMELY relaxing. It feels very heavy, but in a way that melts all your anxieties away. I would go back just for more Black Domina, and I'd recommend this variety to any other connoisseurs of indica.

  • Reviewed 9/26/10
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Purple Kush

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $1 Eighth
2
Strength
I+S
Type
Sp
Flavor
C
Density

A Sleeper Hit For Rolling Fatties

I got an eighth of this flavor for FREE with my first order at The Canny Bus. It usually sells for $30 an eighth, mainly because of it's "B" appearance and bitter exhale. Not good for smoking a bowl of, but GREAT weed for rolling! It has all the perfect qualities for a rolling weed: smells great, looks decent, great price, and it's actually loaded with trichromes-- better than a "ready to roll" mix at other places. When rolled, it tastes pretty damn good.

For an eighth that I didn't have to pay for, I have zero complaints; I'd purchase some in the future if I wanted something good for rolling (like if I'm going to a concert or something).

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Tom's Purple

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $45 Eighth
2
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Very Soothing

The buds are exemplary-- they're like the epitome of a perfect cannabis flower! Beautiful hues of light purple, and very dense despite it's somewhat fluffy appearance. It also sparkles like a gem. The geneticist of this flavor is a 2-time Cannabis Cup winner (Amsterdam, for "Pineapple").

Produces a smooth, rich smoke. It tastes like a lighter version of Granddaddy Purple, like a faint taste of Skittles.The effect is great for relaxing or for treating anxiety, though this particular flavor did not help my insomnia. Fan's of SPARC's Purple Kush would DIE for this flavor!

  • Reviewed 9/25/10
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U2 Kush

Dispensary:
The Canny Bus
Purchased: $45 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
So
Flavor
D
Density

Horrible Band, Awesome Weed!

The first strain I've tried from The Cannny Bus. I wasn't a fan of the name, as I despise Bono and I can't stand how popular his terrible goodguy-badge-wearing band is, but I overcame that because the photos on the website and the description made it all too tempting to try.

A little different from my usual tastes of indicas that are dense and lightly sweet-tasting, but I enjoy this flavor immensely because of it's delicious kushy taste and very strong effect. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being borderline opium, I would rate U2 Kush at a solid 9. It's excellent, I recommend it.

  • Reviewed 9/25/10

Dispensary Review:

Green Door

The Candy is Dandy

I don't think I've purchased any of their buds, but I went with a friend who purchased their Candy Jack and it was very tasty and lucid-feeling. You have to communicate though a bulletproof glass window, and the weed comes in the silver capri-sun pouch things.

What I like about this place is the separate area for buying concentrates, which they misleadingly refer to as a "hash bar." This one isn't isolated by bulletproof glass. Lots of keifs, concentrates, and shiva crystals of all kinds. A little pricier compared to their buds, but I recall getting a good deal on the keif than it should have been-- I don't know it it was a happy hour of some kind of if the guy was just hooking it up.

Definitely not the worst or most awkward club in the city. Worth checking out if you're in the area, but don't rush over.

  • Reviewed 9/25/10
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Dispensary:
SPARC
Purchased: $49 Eighth
3
Strength
I
Type
Sw
Flavor
D
Density

Good Quality GDP

Every club in the Bay has GDP. In fact, if they only have one indica, it's GDP. SPARC's truly is the best of all the GDPs I've had from The Green Cross, Grass Roots, The Hemp Center, Blue Sky, or anywhere else. Excellent taste, the buds are super dense and top quality, and the effect is ultra heavy! Upon microscope inspection, it glistens and sparkles. Great for my usual symptoms of anxiety and insomnia.

The first time I bought it, it came in the sweet glass jar, but now they come in the capri-sun pouch thingies like all the other strains that aren't top-shelf. The price I included reflects sales tax, which they do not include in their listed price.

EDIT 10/20/10: I purchased an eighth a week or two ago and it wasn't nearly as good as before. Also, the bud looked over-trimmed to give the buds a nicer shape. Minus one star. GrassRoots GDP still wins in my book.

  • Reviewed 9/24/10

Dispensary Review:

The Canny Bus

FAR Superior To The Green Cross!

If you've read my most recent review of The Green Cross, you know that I am a fan of the delivery service concept and became very disappointed when I had reason to believe that The Green Cross tumbles their buds. I began an epic online search for delivery alternatives, and was astounded by the number of services I found!

The first one I wanted to try is The Canny Bus, partly because they specifically state on their website that they do not tumble their buds to sell keif. Though they are not same-day service, you'll be VERY glad if you place an advance order with them. Their delivery is more like a bus route, and they deliver to the entire Bay Area! They deliver in about 2 or 3 days, or you could call to see when they're going to be in your area to coordinate.

The website is incredible! Very nicely organized, and each flavor has multiple high-resolution photos as well as 2 ultra-closeups of the trichromes (like Hustler magazine for weed!!) and a thoughtful, meaningful description of the flavor and it's uses. You can also add different items to your basket and check out, like any other e-commerce site! There are still some bugs being worked out with the website as it's still new, but you have to start somewhere, and I'm already impressed.

They currently have one staff member; the owner. His name is Mario, and he is an incredibly friendly, professional, compassionate, and all-around cool guy. He came to my house with a very discreet parcel that contained a vacuum-sealed pouch protecting 3 plastic containers (my 2 eighths and a free eighth of Purple Kush for my first order) as well as the tiny jar of hash oil that I purchased that was only $20.
The first time he delivers, he does an "interview" (more like friendly conversation), but it's nothing to worry about and it takes no time at all.

I absolutely despise the band U2, but I purchased an eighth of the U2 Kush and an eighth Tom's Purple (grown by a 2-time Cannabis Cup winner). The buds look, smell, taste, and feel AMAZING!! Clearly TOP quality. The free eighth isn't that great for a bong, but it's some daaamn good weed for rolling joints, and it's loaded with keif!

I will definitely be calling The Canny Bus again very soon, and I have a feeling that Mario isn't going to be the only staff member for too much longer.

PROS:
* Great selection, with different prices and potencies
* Buds are never tumbled-- they won't even purchase weed from vendors that looks as if has been tumbled
* Closeup photos of trichromes for every bud
* Very discreet
* 100% money back guarantee (obviously you can't smoke half of it though)

CONS:
* Service is not same-day, & closed Sundays

  • Reviewed 9/24/10

Dispensary Review:

HopeNet

Up With Hope, AND With Dope!

I visited for the first time the other day because a) I had not been before and b) their Black Domina, which I saw on BudReviews.com, looked phenomenal and rather unique (I think this flavor is hard to find).

What's ironic is this was the very day I had decided I am not going to lay some education down on ANY person in my life who is not for Proposition 19, and I was wearing my Yes on 19 shirt. The first thing I noticed as I was walking in was a "No on 19" sign in the window. In my understanding of the No on 19 position, I think basically all the arguments are very poor and the entire movement is only to further the interests of already-existing dispensaries or intoxicants companies (i.e. Anheuser-Busch and Starbucks). The doorman read my shirt, and said, "YES on 19? Why, man? Tell me why." and I replied, "I just noticed the sign in your window. I'm not here to convince you, man, I'm here to try your stuff."
Their political stance does not influence my review at all. I don't care if you're Dick Cheney; I'll rate your business and products at face value.

As a new patient, he told me to give my license and prescription to this guy at a computer, who told me I can just go right in and get my stuff afterward (easiest signup process EVER). There was a line to get into the little room where the sales take place. Everybody but me looked to be over 30. Just saying. They're dog-friendly, too.

I got my Black Domina, at a great price, and a free carrot cake edible for my first visit. The place has an odd floor plan, like it clearly used to be a residence, and doesn't have the sterile "professional" vibe that other dispensaries have.
As I was getting my credentials and leaving, the guy at the computer told me to chill for a second and yelled to the doorman to let me hit the hash oil. The doorman lit up this crazy contraption where hash oil meets little glass jar meets connector piece meets bong, and actually vaporizes the oil. It tasted great and got me RIPPED.

Upon checking out the Black Domina, it really didn't look very impressive. I mean, it didn't look bad, but it didn't look like a showstopper. Upon microscope inspection, I was thrilled to see long, thick, dazzling trichromes. The effect was incredibly heavily-- just my style. One of my new favorite indicas. I don't know that I would rush back due to their odd hours, but I definitely would if I were after more Black Domina. Consider me Dominated.

  • Reviewed 9/24/10

Dispensary Review:

Valencia Street Caregivers

Say It With Me Now: Bo-De-Ga

(a.k.a. 208 Valencia)

I have a friend that used to swear by this place a year back or so. I visited 208 Valencia St. twice, and walked away both times because it's just a café! I said this to my friend, and she told me that it's like a secret dispensary; You have to show your prescription to the cashier to see the weed.

Next time I was in the area, I awkwardly approached the cashier-- which felt entirely wrong, because I swear this place is just a coffee and sandwich shop-- smiled, and handed them my prescription card. He said, "OK," and pointed to a door behind me, which began to buzz. I walked into this peculiar little room that had an ATM and one of those bulletproof bank window things. The budtender was the cashier himself!

I was only browsing at the time, but I went in with a friend later and got some hash at a decent price. I still have not tried their buds, but the experience alone was worth a visit.

At the time, there were ominous medical signs on the sides of their green awning, but not anymore. I haven't been since then, but I'll pop by next time I'm in that neighborhood and see if anything has changed.

  • Reviewed 9/24/10

Dispensary Review:

The Green Cross

So These Are McNuggets

I'm breaking the cycle.

I used The Green Cross almost exclusively for about a year (I've been a patient with them for 2 years). The reason was because I was extremely busy with school at the time and just didn't have the time or money to go to a decent dispensary to pick up, so The Green Cross Delivery made my life much easier. Now that I'm done with school and have more time to do proper weed shopping, I realize that The Green Cross is not for me anymore.

It began about a month ago, when I read a review on Yelp by a new member who believed that all 3 of the buds he purchased from The Green Cross were tumbled (shaken to get most of the crystals off to sell as keif). Then it hit me: he's right, the nugs from The Green Cross are not as sparkly as sticky as most dispensary weed. For a while, I even thought I had reached a new peak of tolerance because I wasn't getting as high for a long time. This would also explain why the keif-catcher in my grinder had baaaaarely been collecting anything for a long time.

Ironically, this is right when The Green Cross began selling $5 mini-microscopes on their website, so I purchased one to see my buds up close. The scope is excellent, I'd recommend it to anyone, but the buds from The Green Cross have little to no sparkle. I would have friends over and have them examine a sample from The Green Cross and Grass Roots under the scope, and it was unanimously assessed that Green Cross' buds are not as rich in trichromes.

I contacted the owner about this concern of mine, and he assured me that The Green Cross does not tumble their buds. If he's telling the truth-- which I believe he is-- then it's very possible that the vendors they purchase from are tumbling for keif.

I've realized that The Green Cross is the McDonald's of SF dispensaries; low cost, low quality, high convenience, and mainstream appeal. I also don't care for single-pricing in marijuana sales, because it will never exceed a certain quality level for the price (but they'll sell lower-quality buds for that same price too).

I encourage everyone to take the Pepsi challenge with my words: order some buds and a scope from The Green Cross, and compare them to buds from basically anywhere else. I have found it is worth taking the time to pay the extra $5 to $10 per eighth anywhere else to get my desired effect.

SUMMARY:
If you use cannabis just to get high, this is your dispensary. If you're looking for a specific effect to treat a specific symptom (you know, like MEDICINE), then I would recommend avoiding this dispensary. There are MANY other delivery services in the Bay Area that are of better quality (contact me for a list of over 10 other delivery services).
As far as their service, friendliness, and professionalism, The Green Cross is an excellent dispensary. As for medicine quality, I would say they're more like a "B" in a city full of "A" brick-and-mortar dispensaries. And I've totally written a 5-star review on Yelp for the free sweater.

PROS:
* They deliver same day-- usually within an hour
* Free edible before 2pm
* Open 7 days a week
* Menu is easy to use and very organized
* Staff is very helpful and friendly

CONS:
* Buds appear to be neutered-- very few crystals
* Weakest edibles in the city
* Single price for all strains ("which one is stronger?")

  • Reviewed 9/24/10

Dispensary Review:

SPARC

The New Standard

Wow. Where to begin? So I've been a medical cannabis patient for 3 years, and I've been to just about all the dispensaries (there's maybe 2 or 3 I haven't been to). I've read all the Yelp reviews and gotten recommendations from other patients, and my favorite for the last 3 years has been Grass Roots. Upon seeing their ad in The Guardian, I decided that I needed to check this place out. What initially drew me is not just that they're brand new, but that they lab test their strains to get percentages of THC, CBD, and CBN in their buds. I love the concept, because I'm a pure-indica kind of guy and I'm more interested in CBD than THC (not that THC is unimportant to me). The free validated parking also drew me in, as finding a parking spot is the most obnoxious part of going on a pot run.

It was easy to find the place, as the outside of the club is equally beautiful and memorable. After registering (about 5 minutes or less), they gave me a really cool translucent membership card to get in with. The member card has a rewards program, so you receive $25 off your next order after you spend a cumulated total of $250--an awesome perk. I suck at math, but that means 10% off, effectively eliminating the sales tax.

Excellent selection of medicine, except for there weren't enough pure indicas for my taste (no, indica-dominant isn't good enough). The menus are on large, vertical-oriented TV screens and are very easy to read and understand--which is a complaint I typically have at many other clubs. Not to mention, the counters have bud samples in petri dishes, arranged from sativa to indica. Couldn't be easier!

The woman who helped me was very friendly and knowledgable, and she helped me pick out a mid-grade indica that's equally suited to anxiety and insomnia at $45 an eighth. Instead of the typical Capri Sun pouch thingies that they package their meds in, it came pre-weighed in a really cool SPARC glass jar that seals up very tightly. This usually triggers a debate between patients: "Are you paying more for the container then?" I say the answer is yes and no. Obviously, they're not getting the jars for free, but glass is bar none the best way to keep buds fresh and protected from heat and static (unlike plastic and baggies). So personally, I don't have a problem with the glass jars, and I don't see it as a ploy to charge more (not at this dispensary, anyway).

My only "complaint" about SPARC is that the sales tax is not included in the prices (and I don't recall reading "sales tax not included" anywhere), but that's not really a huge deal considering the quality of what you get. My $45 eighth was actually $49-something.

I weighed out my eighth of Granddaddy Purple when I got home, and it was over by 2 points (3.7 grams), which is fiiiine by me! Upon inspection with my mini-microscope--because I'm a psycho like that--I was delighted to see that the buds were *sparkling* like a Christmas tree, in a way that I just don't see too often at dispensaries anymore.
All this, and I haven't even tried the damn weed yet! One moment please. *cough, cough* Ohhh yess; it's bomb. The question is not whether I'm going back, it's whether I'm going back to any other dispensary.

Pros:
* Incredibly organized menu and website--the best I've seen to date
* Rewards program: $25 off your next order after you spend a total of $250
* Highly recognizable, stoner-proof facade
* Percentages of THC, CBD, and CBN content
* Friendly, helpful staff
* Spacious vapor lounge
* Top shelf medicine comes in snug glass jars
* Free validated parking at Soma Grand garage (1 block away)

Cons:
* Tax is not included in the prices... meh
* Selection is somewhat limited
* Closed on Mondays

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Dispensary:
SPARC
Purchased: $60 Eighth
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It's A'ight

SPARC ran out of Granddaddy Purple when I went in a little while ago, which made me a little bitter because their indica selection is already pretty slim as it is. I chose to get an eighth of their Purple Kush, which was $55 PLUS tax. That's expensive; this isn't Los Angeles. It came in the cool glass jar, though it said "indica dominant" instead of "indica." Grr.

It looked, smelled, and tasted amazing. The effect was good, but nothing to write home about. I found it to be actually kind of... boring. Their Granddaddy Purple is much better in every way-- and it's cheaper.

EDIT 10.08.10: They've dropped the price of this strain to $49 (after tax) since I wrote this review. Coincidence?

  • Reviewed 9/24/10

Dispensary Review:

1944 Ocean Collective

Making A Comeback

By no means is it the best club in the city, and by no means should you go out of your way to try this place out. One could only appreciate this club if they lived in the Parkmerced/ Ingleside area... and I know this because I completely HATED this club when I lived in the Richmond district and only grew to appreciate it when I moved closer. Not to say this club is bad: there are certainly worse clubs, and I've certainly been in better ones as well.

I'm a student, I live right by SFSU. I need top quality indica to help me through the academia (I get anxiety and insomnia), and I don't always have time or money to drive or MUNI to a better club. I find the best way to pick buds here is to get the budtender's reccomendation, as they're vaporizing all day everyday at work.

Their menu is very well organized and has eighths ranging from $35, $40, $45, $50, $55, $60, and $65. You get what you pay for, but I'm satisfied with my purchases between $40 and $45.

Thursday from 2pm - 4pm is "compassion." They used to give free grams, but more recently it's been free joints. They actually give these to you before purchase.

The budtenders are not always that "friendly," but they're not unfriendly either. I think they're just really, really high all the time. They're definitely helpful though.

The main thing I used to hate about this place for a while is their process. You look at buds in sample jars, they write down a prescription for you, you take it to the man or woman behind the window in the back, and they'll take your money and weigh out your buds and everything. I think most everyone would rather see the actual buds they're buying, and being able to see the scale is reassuring as well, but it doesn't bother me anymore as I've become a returning patient.

Parking is usually easy to find.

SUMMARY: If you live in the area, go here a bunch. If not, don't!

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EDIT 11.12.10: I am pleased to say that this place has truly stepped their game up! I've been a few times lately and they made some great changes. Quality has been consistently great, they moved their $45 an eighth stuff down to $40 and so on across the board, and eighths are now 4 grams (and 8 gram quads)! Nice!

I redact my previous review, this is officially a dispensary worth going out of your way to visit!

PROS:
* The prices aren't just good, they're low
* 4 gram eighths/ 8 gram quarters
* Wide selection and very organized menu
* The better of only 2 dispensaries in the area
* Staff is very knowledgeable, you just have to ask for their advice
* Easy parking
* Located next to restaurants, stores, and K line

CONS
* Staff's "elevation" level may be mistaken as coldness, but they're all actually pretty cool

  • Reviewed 9/24/10

Dispensary Review:

Grass Roots Clinic

Best in SF, Best in the Bay

Grass Roots has consistently been my favorite dispensary in the Bay Area-- let alone San Francisco-- for the past 3 years.

The overall reason is very simple: they always have TOP QUALITY buds at unbeatable prices. I rather like the new dispensary that just opened, SPARC SF, but that place is honestly more of a high-end boutique type of pot club (not that it's a bad thing at all, it just means select, beautiful strains that may cost a little more).

Grass Roots has something for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. Some prefer quantity over quality, which Grass Roots is an excellent place to go for cheap eighths that are bomb for rolling, but they also have several options for varying price ranges from $45, $50, $55, and $60, with anywhere from 12 to 20 strains in each price bracket! When you spend at least $50, you get 10% off... every single time. Believe me, there is a noticeable difference between a $45 eighth and a $45 eighth discounted from $50, so I strongly suggest going for the "$50" instead.

When you get in, if you have to wait before approaching the bar (yes, it's an old-timey wooden bar setup), you sit on these cozy stools against the wall with menus on them that you can look over. The menu is color-coded (indica, sativa, hybrid) and organized by price, so kudos to them because unorganized menus are one of my biggest complaint at other clubs. The selection is also evenly distributed, which is HUGE to me. What I mean by that, is it's not just 6 sativas, 5 sativa-dominant hybrids, and 1 indica, which is incredibly frustrating for me as I'm an all-indica individual. Each price bracket has about 6 of each medicine classification (like I said, something for EVERYONE).

The staff is not just the friendliest and most helpful of any dispensary, but of any business I've been to. Seriously. Every SINGLE one of the employees are incredibly friendly, personable (very easy to talk to), and extremely knowledgeable about all their medicine. I always ask their recommendations, as they're very honest and will tell you exactly what they think is good and what's not.

The last perk that makes me love going to Grass Roots is the fact that you are allowed to actually touch and smell the buds, and even examine them under the UV magnifying-glasses they have mounted to the bar.

Pros:
* The BEST selection of buds in the city
* Excellent selection of concentrates, at different price levels (hash, keif, earwax)
* Higher quality and lower price than most other dispensaries
* Open 7 days a week

Cons:
* I can't think of even ONE

My Sticky Type

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