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Member since:
Feb 2019
Dispensary Reviews:
Medicine Reviews:

Dispensary & Marijuana Reviews

  • Reviewed 2/26/21

Gordon Ramsey would approve!

Zkittles Cake is DELICIOUS! Sweet fruity cakey goodness every inhale, it was thoroughly pleasant and smooth! As far as effects go it was a pretty balanced hybrid. Not too up, not too down. Pretty mood elevating and creative. It was perfect for a social setting with the family and my anxiety was a non-issue. So good, Gordon Ramsey would go back for seconds!

  • Reviewed 2/11/21

Hot and Bothered

Fucking awesome or awesome fucking? The answer is both! The gift that keeps on keeping on. The bottle that will make her go "Oh Oh OHHHHH". Get the lube, you won't regret it ;)

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 2/11/21 at 3:22 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 12/12/20

Hulk Smash!!!

A more potent sativa 1:1 CBD strain with a little more THC. Decent smoke from a joint. I felt a calm but energizing hazy euphoria come over me. It was stronger than I normally expect from a CBD strain and surprising but in a pleasant way. Great for my joint pain without over relaxing me and leaving me functional for a productive day free from anxiety. Very similar to its sister strain, Medihaze, but with more PUNCH!!!

  • Reviewed 11/14/20

Chocolate Crispy Wispy

1. Take a bite of your chocolate crispy wispy.
2. Chew it up (mouth closed preferably)
3. Enjoy the calming and relaxing effects of a DC edible!

  • Reviewed 10/30/20

Enhance Your Life!

This strain does just as the name implies, It enhances your whole day! This was a great daytime strain for treating my anxiety. Slightly more THC than CBD, still gave me a decent, calm buzz that just made my day that much easier. I noticed a big difference in my mood and how I handled stressful situations and the euphoria was there but definitely functional. Its also had mild pain relieving qualities as well. I found that I wasnt bothered by my tendonitis the whole day. What a relief! It took my day and "Enhanced" it to the next level

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 10/30/20 at 12:38 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 10/17/20

Green Punch

Green Punch was really nice and flavorful to smoke. Very sweet and smooth. The potency is surprisingly stronger than I was anticipating with more CBD than THC. It starts off really energetic and upbeat and creative. As it settles in I was more calm and relaxed, turning more introspective and focused. Very nice daytime strain that I'll definitely be coming back to!

  • Reviewed 10/10/20

Berry Cinex (Shake)


Berry Yum Yums

Berry Cinex is awesome! A sativa leaning hybrid that stands out in an indica driven market. Very pretty buds with both a sweet aroma and a pleasantly sweet taste on inhale. Definitely more sativa leaning effects without any of the anxiety. In fact this strain is more happy and mood elevating than anything. Will definitely be back for more berry goodness!

  • Reviewed 10/9/20

Baked Review #1

I've been using these 420 bags to make edibles since they came out. With this sativa I used 2 bags and created an infused tequila that was really upbeat and talkative and kept the fun rolling for a night of shenanigans!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 10/9/20 at 12:40 PM Pacific

Baked Review #2

I've been using these 420 bags to make edibles since they came out. With this IndicaI used 2 bags and created an infused cognac that way beyond relaxing! One shot and I was knocked out an hour later for good.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 10/9/20 at 12:48 PM Pacific

Apricot Jelly (SHAKE)


Git 'er Done

Apricot Jelly is a wonderful, very high functioning sativa that I find myself using most in the mornings to kickstart my day and prepare to get s**t done. Relaxing mentally while still being focused and a little energy to get you where you need to be.

  • Reviewed 9/16/20

Black Russian

Black Russian

Finally! Another super potent indica in DC! Black Russian is wonderful for stress and deep relaxation. Complex sweet undertones on the inhale. After the first few hits I could instantly sense by body getting heavier and the aches in my hip became much less noticeable. The stress for the day washed away and I found myself couch locked but happy as could be, enjoying myself to the fullest.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 9/16/20 at 12:29 PM Pacific

Black Russian


Черный русский

В заключение! Еще одна супер мощная индика в Вашингтоне! Черный русский прекрасно подходит для стресса и глубокого расслабления. Сложные сладкие оттенки на вдохе. После первых нескольких ударов я мгновенно почувствовал, что тело становится тяжелее, а боли в бедре стали гораздо менее заметными. Дневной стресс смылся, и я обнаружил, что лежу на диване, но счастлив, насколько это возможно, наслаждаясь в полной мере.

  • Reviewed 9/7/20

Rainmaker (Shake)


Wash the Stress Away

Rainmaker has been a very consistent strain for me for a while. My favorite time to smoke it is right after a hard day of work. It relaxes my mind, lets the stress from the day wash away, and allows me to start enjoying my evenings for myself. Although, really you could smoke it any time of day and enjoy. Uplifting but not too stimulating. Relaxing but putting you to sleep. A great balance that works wonderfully for me!

  • Reviewed 9/6/20

Koko Peace

Ive had koko puffs a couple times and its consistently relaxing and stress relieving as an evening strain for me. Not really putting me to sleep but a decent body high. Id definitely recommend this strain for de-stressing and unwinding in the evening!

  • Reviewed 8/29/20

Viper Cookies


Snake Charmer

Could not wait for this strain to get here! With something named Viper Cookies, you just have to expect something strong and this bud definitely delivered! After smoking from my bong it had an almost immediate body high and a really heavy relaxing euphoria. It definitely hit like a true cookies strain and was creative and social for me but a lot heavier. The soreness from my workout earlier in the day evaporated and I found myself stuck on the couch and in the zone. A little bit seemed to go a long way but the more I smoked the heavier it got. Highly recommend this sensational serpent!

  • Reviewed 8/22/20

Jack Herer (SHAKE)

Finally a good Jack Herer

I've smoked many Jack Herers over the years and most have been lackluster. Either they've been mild and very light euphoria, or too high energy and racey with nothing else to them.
THIS ONE HITS THE SWEET SPOT! Nice euphoria, good focus, great energy, and effective for dealing with stress as well. Will definitely be coming back to this Jack Herer for starting off my day!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 8/22/20 at 12:53 PM Pacific

Favorite Indica

Cherry Chem has always been one of my favorite indicas available in DC, I cant believe i'm only just now getting to do a review of it. Really nice sweet and gassy smell and taste. Always find purple touches in this pretty plant. As far as effects, for me is pretty heavy and relaxing but at the same time more fun and mood elevating as well. Love to use as an evening social or chill party strain. Even if it's a party of 1, it's guaranteed to be a good time! Later into the night it starts to have more sedating properties that lay you down for a good sleep. Hard to lose with Cherry Chem.

  • Reviewed 8/10/20

Double Up

Double Black is one of those strains that's always been pretty consistent for me. I use it primarily for sleep and night time aches and pains. Nice strong body high that comes on all at once and heavy sedative properties that make it a lot easier for me to get to sleep. Double Black for Double Sleep.

  • Reviewed 8/3/20

Next Level

I tried Enhanced for the first time with an open mind not knowing what to expect, and let me tell you, I was really pleasantly surprised! It has 13% THC and 5% CBD but it actually hit me like it was a lot higher! Really calming and relaxed with a decent euphoria but that I could still really function on and enjoy. I was listening to music and riding my motorcycle, getting stuff done and really enjoying life. It felt like nothing could bother me. I'll definitely be implementing it into my daily rotation to help with stress and anxiety for sure. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 8/3/20 at 9:37 AM Pacific

Ready to Tango

Love love love Citrus Tango for my joint pains! Nice complex citrus flavor and more indica leaning, heavy bodied effects. I've used it many times during the evening to relax and unwind from the aches and stress of the day to day.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 8/3/20 at 12:02 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 7/11/20

CBD on the Daily

I use CBD every single day to help deal with with my mental health and let me tell you, having smoked most of the whats available in both DC and MD, this Charlottes Web is the absolute best in quality and effects. Beautiful buds covered in trichomes, this nearly all CBD strain looks even better than a lot of its all THC counterparts on the shelves. I love smoking it on its own as well as mixing it in with all my favorite strains to create my own rations of THC:CBD to better treat my depression and get my mind right whenever I need.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 7/11/20 at 9:50 AM Pacific

Counting Sheep

It takes a lot to get me to sleep sometimes and my tolerance doesn't help when I can just keep smoking and smoking. However, I definitely found that the Abatin House Indica was all that and a bag of chips for my needs. After smoking, it settles in pretty quickly to my head and body and made me feel relaxed and drowsy and I'm yawning and falling asleep soon after. It puts my insomnia to the side and lets me sleep the whole night too. Another thing I look for in my nighttime indica is that it doesn't leave me feeling groggy the next day which I think the Abatin House Indica accomplished nicely. All in all im very happy with the House Indica, I'll definitely be keeping some put away next to my bed.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 7/11/20 at 10:23 AM Pacific

Lemon Royale #1 (SHAKE)


Royale of Lemons

I've always been in love with lemon strains and Lemon Royale meets and surpasses all of my expectations. Nice lemon taste but definitely more gassy. A very very potent pheno, Lemon Royale starts strong in the head giving me plenty of energy and a nice uplifting euphoria. As some times passes it becomes a little more relaxed in the body and still very happy through the day. A little bid goes a long way with this one. Love it!

  • Reviewed 6/29/20

Lemon Skunk


When life give you lemons...

Anytime Alternative Solutions comes out with a new strain you know its gonna be something good. This batch of Lemon Skunk knocked it out of the park like nothing else for me recently. Great thick sweet smoke had me smacking my lips. Very uplifted and an immediate head high and nice strong euphoria. After the initial rush, a more relaxing and heavy haze settled in that was soothing and calming and left me happy like having an ice cold cup of lemonade in the summer sun.

  • Reviewed 4/19/20

Alien Tarantula (SALE)


One Spacey Arachnid

A heavy hitter, this Alien Tarantula was very potent right off the bat! This indica dominant hybrid quickly relaxes the body while producing strong, long lasting cerebral effects. Great to unwind with in the evening or to take the edge off during the day. Have some snacks on hand for the munchies!

  • Reviewed 4/13/20

Topanga Zkittlez (Shake)


Lip Smacking Zkittlez

Yet another delicious strain delivered by Alternative Solutions! Super sweet flavor and smell when smoked that gives way to a happy giggly relaxed high. I could see myself having this strain any time of day, especially nowadays to keep my mood up. This batch is very potent compared to zkittlez ive had before. I love it!

  • Reviewed 4/4/20

Edibles time!

Just loaded up on a bunch of these shake/trim packs to make an assortment of edibles! 12.6G for $60! I checked the packs and was pleasantly surprised there are actually some small buds in there as well! Now I know Abatin for their high standards of quality and tasty terpenes and am really excited to see how they will turn out. I already have a good guess... AMAZING!!!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 4/4/20 at 8:57 AM Pacific

  • Reviewed 3/8/20

Green Crack is Back!

Finally one of my all time favorite strains is back! A very high energy and focused strain that has potent intensity. Great for getting things done, working out, hiking, whenever you need a boost of focus and energy for. This batch especially looks and smells amazing! Cant wait to pick up some more!

  • Reviewed 2/28/20

Blue Cheese (Small Buds)

A fine cheese to go with your wine... or buffet!

Blue Cheese is one of those strains that has never treated me wrong before. Always relaxing and has worked wonders for both my sleep and appetite. Ive had it right before going to the buffet and OMG it helped me eat my heart out like the little fatass I know I am. Having it later in the night it was more relaxing and helped me knock out for the night. This last batch looks, smells, and tastes incredible!

  • Reviewed 2/26/20

Strawberry Glue (SHAKE)

Hybrid for all

Strawberry glue was a very enjoyable, pretty balanced hybrid. Very physically relaxing while being mentally uplifting. Helps with both pain and depression. Ive made really good infused edibles with this strain. Good any time of day.

  • Reviewed 2/23/20

Blueberry Skunk (SHAKE)


Stress Detox

Very very very calming. Was great for my stress and anxiety! I smoked a bowl after a hard day and within a few moments I felt like a calming wave of euphoria was washing over my mind. Its quite a mood booster and I was much happier. I was so relieved and was actually able to function and feel good about myself again. Smooth smoke. Good flavor. Definitely recommend!

  • Reviewed 2/4/20

Jack Herer (TRIM) SALE

Jack of all Trades

Jack Herer is a classic strain for me that give me a nice calm energy and euphoria. The last batches smelled really good and terpy. Started off my day with a smile and feeling myself after a bowl. Continues to be a consistent staple wherever you go.

  • Reviewed 2/3/20

Apple Pie (Shake)

Not your Grandmas Apple Pie

This apple pie was really enjoyable! Its more potent and tastier than last batch and has more energy to it. I still love the great up beat, social focus that it promotes. Definitely a great daytime strain for getting stuff done and being productive.

  • Reviewed 1/24/20

Pineapple (SHAKE)


Put me on an Island

The look, the smell, the taste, DELICIOUS! Pineapple is one of those strains that I grind some up and leave the grinder open on the kitchen table to make the room smell nice, ITS THAT GOOD! Pretty happy strain with a nice relaxing body high. Puts me on an island vacation every time.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 1/24/20 at 11:51 AM Pacific

Chocolates From Heaven

Delicious! Sweet! With a light weed taste that I cant get enough of! You can definitely tell these are quality chocolates the minute they touch your tongue. 10mg per square so the perfect small dose for me during the day to keep me cool calm and collected during the day. When I upped the dose and had 2 chocolates I could start to feel it more in my body. I cant wait to try to make some goji berry smores!

  • Reviewed 1/17/20

Honey Banana (Shake)

All day, Every day

Honey Banana was a really nice strain that I finally was able to try. Was a smooth smoke and had a really relaxed but interactive euphoria. I could use this strain anytime of day to help with stress and still be really well balanced. Im going to have to get more to fill the spots in my stash.

  • Reviewed 11/24/19

Purple Reign (shake)

Awesome Exclusive!

I've had purple reign on and off over the past couple months and by golly this batch is great. Very sweet smell and smooth flavor. I found it was a little heavier on the body than before. This strain was AWESOME for getting lost in the music and having a blast at concerts. Get some from Takoma Wellness, the only place good enough for this strain!

  • Reviewed 11/14/19

Oil Cartridge: Granddaddy Purp GDP



I've been using this cart primarily before bed to try to help with my insomnia and boy has it. Just a puff or 2 and about 15 minutes later, im dreaming about granddaddy purple himself! All jokes aside, this strain has seriously been helpful with my sleep and being able to settle restlessness before bed. Check it out for yourself.

  • Reviewed 11/10/19

Lemon Crush

Lemon Crush the Day!

Lemon Crush is one of those strains sativa strains that gets you energized and happy but is also surprisingly calming both in the mind and the body. Awesome for social anxiety and depression! This strain has a great taste on exhale and is a really smooth, enjoyable smoke. I'll definitely be getting more to brighten up these winter days!

  • Reviewed 10/22/19

Durban Poison

Git 'er done

I havent had Durban Poison in a good long while but this batch really did me right. Good energy and awesome motivation to get up and get stuff done. Ive been smoking Durban mostly in the morning to get myself locked in and focused for the day head. This is definitely a great choice for being more productive!

  • Reviewed 9/26/19


The first thing I said when I tried the Panama Red cartridge, "Wow... wow... OH WOW!"
Im at a loss of words for how awesome this cartridge is. The energy, the euphoria, the motivation, everything about my experience was phenomenal. I need to stock up, its just that good!
Do it, just do it!

  • Reviewed 9/25/19

Cherry Chem #7 (SALE)

Favorite Indica?

I definitely more of a sativa fan, most indicas either put me to sleep or make me antisocial. However the Cherry Chem was pleasantly different. Is very uplifting and happy while leaving me cool calm and relaxed. Its also gave me a creative euphoric perpective that was great in helping with social anxiety and simply enjoying myself no matter the situation. LOVE LOVE LOVE Cherry Chem!

  • Reviewed 9/22/19

A kush for the sativa lover

Silver Kush has been a great strain for starting off my day! Its gives a boost in energy and focus to go out and get stuff done. If sativas are normally too intense for you, give this one a try. It helps relieve my regular anxiety and still leaves me cool, calm, and collected when Im out and about.

  • Reviewed 7/28/19

Loudmouth OG

Loudmouth on Deck!

After coming to TWC, Loudmouth quickly became one of my favorite hybrids to date! Sour Diesel and Gorilla Glue combine to create a perfect balance between indica and hybrid, making this strain good for pretty much any time of day. Loudmouth has great uplifting, yet relaxing effects, and a potent euphoria to take your stress away. If I had to choose just one strain to have for all day long, this would definitely be it!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 7/28/19 at 8:48 AM Pacific

Let the Bread free you of Dread

A great strain for stress relief. Dread Bread had me in a state near bliss, it lifted my spirits and nothing could possibly bother me. Very functional and calming. Awesome to have after a stressful day!

  • Reviewed 7/21/19

Mountain Temple

Paradise on the Mountain

Mountain Temple is back!!! This is my all time favorite sativa, hands down. Mountain Temple has the same amazing energy and focus as green crack while being very uplifting, happy, and social. It is pretty heady and euphoric and has a slight body buzz. This strain helps motivate me to get on my feet, have meaningful conversations, and also helps ease away any negative or racing thoughts and emotions. Its has a funky floral citrus smell and tastes great on the exhale. Its incredible potency satisfies even my high tolerance. I would love for this to become a regular strain from District Cannabis, it is PERFECT for me!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 7/21/19 at 10:41 AM Pacific

  • Reviewed 6/22/19

Zurple Punch - Out of this World!

Zurple Punch was great! It had a mouthwatering, sweet berry taste that I just couldn't get enough of. Surprisingly uplifting even though its really more of an indica. Put me in a great relaxed state, nothing could bother me!

  • Reviewed 6/2/19

Dispensary Review:

Takoma Wellness Center

The Best Dispensary to call Home <3

I started coming to TWC as a patient back in December and ever since then I have been proud to call it my go-to dispensary, my home. With an incredible selection, awesome sales, and the nicest, friendliest staff I have ever seen in a dispensary, theres nowhere else id rather go. And Ive been to a lot dispensaries across both Maryland and DC. Trust me, the people at Takoma Wellness Center will take care of you and make you feel right at home.

  • Reviewed 5/31/19

Deep Line Alchemy #7 (SALE)

Indica Powerhouse!

Wow this indica packs a punch! I smoked Deep Line Alchemy right after a long stressful day and it was a one way ticket to heaven. DLA had a very strong, physical, stoney relaxation that melted away my pain and could have whisked me to sleep if I wasn't prepared. It was great for reducing stress and anxiety as well. The effects creeped up on me strong and then lasted a good long time as I relaxed in the sofa. I'm definitely coming back to DLA for more!

  • Reviewed 5/27/19

CFX Vaporizer

The Impressive Vaporizer

The CFX Vaporizer is really impressive! It has a bright HD display and very easy configuration to use, durable hard plastic interior, and a good sized ceramic heating chamber. The CFX can hold slightly more than a half gram of flower, more than enough for a personal session or on the go. It can heat up to its max temperature 430 degrees in around 20 seconds! Even after having a 15 min session, the case was only warm to the touch. This thing produces a great flavorful vapor all the way to the last pull and vaporizes your flower evenly so there is no need to mix your flower in the middle of your session. Emptying and cleaning the CFX is a breeze. And finally the battery life on the CFX is awesome! I was able to smoke multiple sessions over 2 different days without the need to stop and recharge. I can definitely take this somewhere and not have to worry about it dying on me. All in all the CFX is a pretty impressive vaporizer, especially considering its a lot cheaper than the rest of the competition. I definitely recommend this vaporizer, whether you're a novice or a pro, its easy to get great results.

  • Reviewed 5/22/19

Dreamsicle Skunk (SHAKE)

Great CBD Relief

I decided to give Dreamsicle Skunk a try this week and I'm sure glad I did. This strain first caught my attention with how tremendously sticky it is. It has a really nice sweet/floral smell and tastes just as pleasant. Extremely functional strain that kept me clear headed. Great uplifting mental effects helped make stress and anxiety nonexistent. It also has great pain relief qualities to boot. All in all, a great medicinal strain!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 5/22/19 at 1:15 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 5/19/19

Super Gorilla Glue

One of my favorite Gorilla Glue strains so far (GG4 x GG4). This a great strain for the down time you DESERVE! Perfect Storm left me relaxed with a euphoric, relaxed, positive mood, and after I settled down for sleep, it helped with my insomnia a lot.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 5/19/19 at 12:31 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 4/24/19

Oil Cartridge: Tzoof! Hawaiian Sun


New Cart on the Block

I am impressed by Abatin's new Tzoof! line of cartridges. I had the pleasure of trying the Hawaiian Sunrise and it put me in the perfect place. Its combination of THC to CBD left me both calm and relaxed but focused and took my stress and anxiety away. Extremely functional and great for anytime of the day. Would definitely recommend giving it a try if you are looking for something that won't be too overwhelming or intense but still want something enjoyable.

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 4/24/19 at 11:10 AM Pacific

  • Reviewed 3/9/19

Greenhead (Shake)

Wake up and smell the green!

A great, level-headed, energetic sativa! I had it early in the morning to start my day and it jolted me awake like a cup of coffee and started my day off on the right foot. Great energy and focus, not very racey or overpowering mentally. I was perfect going into work, getting a lot done, and staying on point.

  • Reviewed 2/11/19

Bubble Gum (Shake) (SALE)

Perfect Daytime Indica

Finally an indica perfect for the middle of the day! Quickly relaxes the mind and body without making you sleepy. It also created a pleasant mood and focus that I wasn't quite expecting from an indica but that makes it great for daytime use!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 2/10/19 at 9:46 PM Pacific

  • Reviewed 2/8/19

Shatter: Alien Tarantula

Home run!

A heavy hitter, this Alien Tarantula was very potent right off the bat! This indica dominant hybrid quickly relaxes the body while producing strong, long lasting cerebral effects. Great to unwind with in the evening. Have some snacks on hand for the munchies!

Last edited by StonedCharizard on 2/7/19 at 5:38 PM Pacific

My Sticky Type


Favorite Dispensaries

Takoma Wellness Center
6925 Blair Road NW Washington,