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916.420

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Dispensary & Marijuana Reviews

  • Reviewed 8/21/11

Dispensary Review:

One Solution

STAY AWAY FROM THIS BITCH MADE CLUB UNLESS YOU'RE A CHUMP!!

STAY AWAY FROM THIS BITCH MADE CLUB UNLESS YOU'RE A CHUMP!!

I stopped by OneSolution recently as a new patient. I came with high hopes and ready to walk out with 1/2 ounce of mix and match - instead left with only an eighth just to make something of my trip. If you can believe it, the budtender made me an eighth from two strains of TOP SHELF out of at least 24 budlets. TWENTY FOUR BUD PIECES!!!??!! FOR 3.5 GRAMS!!! AS A NEW PATIENT? Why didn't you just kick me in the balls and tell me never to come back when I walked in - and get it over with? It was the skrimpy shit other places sell as compassion or shake. This was their "top shelf". It was 11:00AM. I have no idea how they got through the day on that scrap.

I regularly get 1/4 ounce SINGLE BUDS of *real* top shelf right down the street from this place. How in the hell are you going to sell me an eighth made from 24 microscopic bud parts, and with a straight face call it top shelf? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND EVER GOES BACK TO THIS PLACE?

The 'top shelf' selection amounted to four or five strains. It was all skrimpy, scraggly, bottom of the plant shit. Every "top shelf" strain they had smelled the same - like fresh cut grass. The product was dry though, indicating it had been cured improperly: dried too quickly locking in the chlorophyll flavor.

Also, this is a 'coupon' club. If you go here without a coupon, you're an even bigger sucker than if you go here with one. They run ads every week in Sac News and Review. There is a 20% off coupon, which can be used every time you visit. Don't go without it. Don't go with it.

If you're a punk, know a punk, or like to get punked - if you like the smell and taste of chlorophyll and scraps from the bottom of the plant - then maybe this place *IS* your bag. Otherwise, you could throw a dart at the weedmap and do better.

  • Reviewed 8/20/11

Dispensary Review:

MediZen Collective

You get what you pay for

I have been to Medizen about three or four times now. This will be a love - hate review so there's something for everyone.

First the bad news: This place is in a sketchy area, at the end of Northgate. The low prices draw a shady looking clientele, but I have actually met a couple of very cool people while waiting in line there, and there is also a steady stream of folks in professional attire, so call it a melting pot. The problem is the wait can be long, and you will have no view of your vehicle during this wait - so don't leave valuables behind and if you have a guard dog, bring it to watch your whip.

The lobby is tiny - like a walk in closet with maybe 5 DMV style chairs - and usually crammed with folks. I have actually turned around and left once when I saw the lobby jammed with people - which portends a disaster in the back. Do not go to this place at lunch time unless you have time to burn. But you wont spend a lot of time in the lobby, they will send you to the back right away to start standing in line.

The wait standing in line can be long, and crammed elbow to elbow and nuts to butts. There is little privacy when conducting your business. You will feel pressured to rush, and the budtenders will too - with all the people standing and waiting. After you stand in line to get your meds, you get to stand in another - longer, sometimes slower line to pay the single cashier who sometimes barely knows how to work the register system, which exacerbates the wait.

The meds are dry. All of them. Most are very scraggly, with lots of timber. A couple of strains are always OK though, if dry, and top at $40. Either this place is the last stop on the farmer's delivery route, or you have to get there quick to beat the rush to the goods - because every time I have been the selection has been dry and with few exceptions, real bottom of the barrel looking.

One of the budtenders was shaking everyone's hand as they came up to the counter, WITH HIS GLOVES ON! Sort of defeats the purpose of wearing gloves when you are putting EVERYONE ELSES HAND ON THE GLOVE BEFORE PUTTING THE GLOVE ON THE BUDS. It makes a mockery of 'clean tested' medicine too - why test it when you don't have any respect for simple sanitary methods after you get it?

Most unforgiveable was the recent bait and switch they pulled on me. I went in to grab a few "top shelf" strains and also what I considered to be their famous $25 "Goodie Bag". I had been getting their Goodie Bags, which is marketed as "top shelf leftovers", to make awesome blended joints and cones. The first few times this Goodie Bag was fucking great. It was truly a selection of all their top shelf, although usually very small nuggets - sometimes a few choice nuggets too. The Goodie Bag was like Christmas morning for me - 6 or 7 respectable strains to make sweet-ass blended cones! Honestly it was the ONLY reason I kept going back to Medi-zen and suffering their dry and skinny "top shelf" and miserable facilities. Well I went in for a few Goodie Bags again this week along with some other selections, and get home to find out my Goode Bag is not a blend of top shelf strains, but instead was a single - shaggy - disgusting strain of ditchweed. Un-fucking-believable.

Lastly they're also charging 4% canna-tax from the City, but not including it in their prices - so you end up paying some odd amount more when you get to the register. If you like to pay with cash, bring extra for TAX.

The good news: Sometimes the goodie bag rocks, but you better check your shit real good - no matter how pressured you feel to hurry the fuck up. The security guy is cool and a few of the budtenders and one cashier are nice and efficient. You can get meds for cheap here, but not really 'deals' - more like you get what you pay for. The Goodie Bag was a deal until they fucked that up.

DEAR MEDIZEN, here are a few tips for success if you give a shit:

1) NEVER: *EVER* bait and switch a customer. If you don't have Goodie Bag - don't come up with a substitute shag-weed strain and call it Goodie Bag. Don't put 'ZenBag 2.0' in the Goodie-Bag jar. Just say you're out of Goodie Bag but you have Dregs of The Day, or whatever, and let the customer make the choice. Don't build up a brand and then piss all over it - WTF are you thinking?

2) LARGER facilities: no more making customers stand in line forever. Only call us from the lobby when we are number one or two on deck. Unless you're going for some type of clowns-in-a-volkswagon record, it's time to move or expand.

3) HUMIDOR: for the love of god. A little dry is nice but two days away from dust is not.

4) MANICURE: don't open up a tuperware container full of toothpicks and cotton swabs and tell me it's 'Top Shelf' bud. Put the useless cashier on scissor duty. When it's too small to sell, put it into a GOODIE BAG!

5) HYGENE: do not put your gloves on ANYTHING, NOTHING, but the product. Not the counter, not your nose, your ass crack, or the hands of clients. Have gloves readily available and change them often.

6) TRAINING: don't put idiots on the register. You only have one checkout line for two or three bud tender lines - it is a bottleneck by design and staffing it with a moron makes things worse. Get more registers, and make every budtender a cashier who rings up the clients they serve, and you will eliminate the double-standing-wait for your clients and TRIPLE the flow of people. Otherwise you will not grow. Hello, McFly?

  • Reviewed 7/12/11

Dispensary Review:

The Reserve

Super friendly, quick and easy

I was in and out quick as a new patient - and the first timer deals were sweet. The location is OK but not super handy from any freeway. The facilities were nice and clean, with plenty of room to wait in the comfy lounge if you needed. The staff was super friendly and helpful.

I picked up about 4 varieties of 'Top Shelf' meds - splitting eighths. The Green Ribbon was the bomb all around. The Urkle was spiny and had a 'grandmas attic' odor to it, but otherwise pleasant. The GDP F1 worked well, but didn't look like all that. The Jack Herer was somewhat airy and shaggy and overall weak.; this particular strain didn't qualify as top shelf in my book..

  • Reviewed 7/12/11

Dispensary Review:

Auburn Health & Organics

Great selection, super friendly and an easy location!

I stopped in today at AHO as a new patient. I am very happy that I did and will be back as a regular. The staff was very nice, and I was viewing product within 5 minutes even as a new client. The location is nice and clean, and super handy for north area Rocklin/Roseville commuters. It is less than one easy driving mile from the main, well connected Auburn Blvd exit. Parking was no problem and relatively discreet, as was the overall location.

The selection was superb and quality of the meds was outstanding. This is a place where you actually *can* obtain the quality and desireability that you see in the product pictures - which is to say very kind, heavily crystalled, choice flowers. I also took a look at some of the 5-gram 'special value' meds and they looked great, what some others might sell as mid shelf or even top shelf. There were four of these 'value' strains to choose from for those looking to maximize, and even the shake pile looked pretty kind so far as that goes.

However I am sampling a few varieties from the top shelf and private reserve first, and will be sure to report back. Since I was able to split eighths of like priced meds, I have a good mix/match variety to start with. The only problem I had at AHO, was selecting from all the truly top shelf strains they had!!

UPDATE 6 WEEKS LATER: I have been back to AHO several times and nothing has changed. They still have an AWESOME selection of BOMB-ASS product. They have also recently reduced prices by $5 per eighth for top shelf and private reserve. You pay a little more at AHO but it is worth it. If you want top shelf product as seen in the pictures, even if you are buying small quantities - this is the place.

DEAR AHO: I wish you had more deals for returning customers though - it is the one thing that keeps me from visiting AHO more often and still has me visiting other clubs. If I could regularly get any sort of freebie or bonus deal, I'd be back more. Maybe you have those deals going but you are not communicating well on Twitter, Facebook, your website, etc. You could really do a lot better job in the social media area. You're getting your ass handed to you by other dispensaries when it comes to communication and creative marketing, deals etc.

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Auburn Health & Organics
4608 Auburn Blvd. Sacramento,