User Profile


April 20
I can't live without:
I'm an expert at:
rolling dough
My fantasy hobby is:
baking bread
I go weak in the knees for:
My most prized possession is:
this bread
Lately I've been recommending:
that bread
I really need to cut back on:
Me described in one word:
Member since:
Jan 2019
Dispensary Reviews:
Medicine Reviews:

Dispensary & Marijuana Reviews

  • Reviewed 1/21/19

Big Bud Skunk

Herbal Alternatives

Big Bud pre-roll = go-to chill pill

I decided to grab a pre-roll for some self-care. If the shake quality is like this, the top quality bud must be stupid dank. So here goes:

TL;DR: classic indica; PM stone; good for stress; pain; anxiety; insomnia; appetite stim., PMS; euphoric; mellow-heady full body high

This toke is the perfect after-work chill that melts away a long day, and hence is perfect for after-work herb hour. Big Bud's predominantly indica pull is MAD chill. The stone is moderate to high and will throw you into a state of mental and physical decompression almost immediately but without knocking you out. (If you want to knock out, keep smoking) The skunkiness settles into a super relaxed full-body high making this classic indica strain perfect for killing that stress caused by anxiety or physical pain (or both). Cannot emphasise how great Big Bud is for muscle/joint pain. Heads up ladies, this strain is also perfect for PMS as it attacks at the pain and lively hormones with a smidge of euphoria, some munchies, and then, off to bed!
Big Bud is a great appetite stimulant, but you'll want to order out because that euphoric, mellow, happy, and relaxed (but not too heady) high won't want you cooking or doing anything that requires a huge amount of effort.
While indica-heavy, there are still strong hints of creative thoughtfulness spliced between the calm, balmy, and gentle high that pervades before whisking you away to bed.

Be and sleep well! Cheers, and have a good one, fam

Last edited by 808_sup_beuh on 1/21/19 at 7:40 AM Pacific

  • Reviewed 1/17/19

Dispensary Review:

Herbal Alternatives

Did you seriously extend your weeknight hours to 730PM?!

I came in at 6:54PM with that low-key please-dont-close anxiety. Brandon said to keep my chill, "we're open to 730 now." I said you were the best before, but that extra half hour on a busy weeknight is, in stoner minutes, an eternity. An eternity of delight. It's pretty surreal to see all the suits come in after their late days of work are coming to an end, almost like happy hour without the unnecessary banter. This extra half hour will help pretty much all of DC's clientele as we're stupid enough to work late hours and slack off on self care. Thank you, fam!

Last edited by 808_sup_beuh on 1/17/19 at 6:28 AM Pacific

Aloha 808_SUP_BEUH,

LOL! We did extend the hours Monday thru Friday--as requested by many.


  • Reviewed 1/16/19

Dispensary Review:

Herbal Alternatives

Sending Love to the HA Fam!!!

Aloha friends :

First off, the negative reviews dated 1.15.19 sound as if they are coming from a dissatisfied client and contain flat out lies, full stop.

These types of reviews filled with trivial and untrue descriptions do a disservice to the quality that the staff of this dispensary brings to its clientele. Folks seem to think that the budtenders are 100% responsible for your choice and quality of your high. Those expectations are ludicrous. There are plenty of resources out there available to assess the information and quality of a strain. The expertise that the staff brings to the experience is an added bonus, not a prerequisite. In my experience, the staff is extremely knowledgeable on their inventory.

That being said, here's why I love you guys:
1. Location: HA is conveniently and discreetly located in downtown DC in a secured access building. If safety is a concern for you, worry not. If guilt is a concern for you, St. Matthew's is just across the street lol.

2. Environment: HA is a spacious dispensary with a wrap-around waiting area with huge (tinted) windows to let the natural light in. It is also remarkably brightly lit and immaculately clean. I've seen the waiting area as a place for many patients to meet and converse while waiting, yes sometimes you have to wait, to see a budtender.

3. Bar: The bar itself is ridiculously organised offering a variety of products. There is an area specific for tinctures too (shoutout Frankie for your expert-expertise!). There is also a large display of pipes/water pipes available for purchase at a totally decent price. (I love GravLabs). The bar’s glass tops are spacious enough so that the client can view the bud for smell/quality. That's one thing I love: being able to see and smell the bud before choosing.

4. The menu is overwhelming. This is where it became a luxury to describe the stone/high desired as well as a responsibility to communicate what I needed. You'd be surprised how challenging assessing your medical needs and putting them into simple words are. So props to the budtenders for doing as much as possible to read into our personal descriptions of what is needed at the time.

5. The prices are great - I mean yes there are "premium" price strains but I have lately been impressed at the rotation of sale strains and hope that that momentum keeps going. ($10 for acapulco was the best Christmas gift ever). Even better, all you have to do is ask and the budtenders will do their best to fit as much bud as possible within your designated financial limits.

***OH, and while they are CASH ONLY, there is an ATM conveniently located on site.

6. The budtenders: The HA staff has made me feel safe and welcome from day one in speaking openly about my medical condition, which is something I do not do normally. The staff takes that in stride, in keeping confidentiality and also establishing a rapport with their clientele to understand their needs. In being able to be open about my specific needs, Frankie, Brandon, and Freddy have been able to recommend both new strains and OG-go-tos for good days and hard days (both THC and CBD for pain etc.). They are insanely knowledgeable on the category of strains, effects, positives, and negatives and ways of consumption (shatter v. flower v. tinctures etc.). Top quality customer service and friends to boot.

* Frankie, I came to you and was able to be real with you during (the good), the bad, and the ugly. Not only have you listened and been so kind especially when I'm sick, but every recommendation you've thrown my way has either been on point or even better than I expected for a myriad of symptoms and/or issues. You helped me baseline with the almighty Painkillerx2 and I also remember coming back to you one day pissed off at you (not really) for how insanely high I got off of the AGx2...
* Brandon, you're fam because you take great care in sourcing our combination selections with so much detail and you never, ever rush it, which means a lot.
* Freddy, when I get to work with you, I end up discovering strains (and parts of myself lol, quite the conversationalist) I did not know of! (ie: Magnificent Intentions & Polynesian Thin Mint)

7. Bud quality: I mean, I can't even tell you how dank the quality of the batches coming out of HA and out of the District in general are. I'm continually impressed by what HA has to offer and how particular they are about having nice buds for clients. (For example, you won't get shag unless you ask for it, so don't complain if the quality isn't top notch). I hope for the quality to get better and better. Also, HA does not prepackage its bud so you have the full opportunity, as mentioned above, to see and smell before your choosing.

I love you guys and appreciate the effort you go to in order to help and address the needs of DC's medical population. I like many others am successfully managing a serious medical condition with the help of my license and this staff. Cheers, fam. Have a good one.

Last edited by 808_sup_beuh on 1/18/19 at 7:43 AM Pacific

Aloha 808_SUP_BEAU,

The staff at Herbal Alternatives cannot thank you enough for this wonderfully detailed review. You outlined so many points that are important to us.

Mahalo nui loa

Durban Poison

Herbal Alternatives

Durban Poisin - go to for stress & anxiety

Durban Poison is my go-to for anxiety, painful days, depression, lack of motivation, and is an appetite stimulant. It is a reliable heavy-hitter and a top ten of mine. Buds are super dense with a tasty piney smell that transfers to the smoke. It will shut you up, level you out but not knock you out, which is my favorite kind of stone. It starts out in the head, nothing too stupid, happy, or heady, just great for anxiety or stress relief and then the body high kicks in . This is a great strain if you need to rest and relax. Can be a good sleep aid too. The overall high is chill, mellow, and hazy (the good kind).

Last edited by 808_sup_beuh on 1/16/19 at 4:46 AM Pacific


Herbal Alternatives

Chemdawg packs dat potent punch

This Nepalese x Thai sativa packs a potent punch and is great for veteran smokers. Great for anytime use (day or night).
The high is both intensely cerebral and also hits the body making it great for anxiety, nausea, stress, and pain. This strain is a great appetite stimulant and you might get a bit of the munchies. The overall high is calming, soothing, and relaxing; uplifting, creative, happy, and heady. Not too heavy though not to be taken lightly, newbs beware! This strain is a good alternative to sour diesel, hitting slightly lighter than the diesel does and is definitely a go-to after a stressful day, if in pain, or if I'm happy and looking to tumble down the rabbit hole just a little bit.

Last edited by 808_sup_beuh on 1/15/19 at 9:49 PM Pacific

Magnificent Intentions

Magnificent Intentions = dreamy

The lineage of MI is a pretty hefty one. I loved the smooth, light, and incredibly tasty smoke that MI provides. The buds are dense with a piney, oak smell with hints of citrus. The high is a euphoric, happy but light buzz that settles into a relaxing full-body high. It's heady but still clear-minded. I loved the burst of the happy heady sativa energizing feel before settling into a indica-laced full body chill. Similar to the chocolope or mimosa ilk and quite lovely all around.

Last edited by 808_sup_beuh on 1/15/19 at 10:00 PM Pacific

Acapulco Gold

Herbal Alternatives

Acapulco aka Morning Espresso

This is one of my top ten strains - next best to Pineapple
The buds are super orange/golden and hairy
Perfect for morning consumption, this gold acts as a morning shot or two of espresso.
High is upbeat and energizing, with a super clear-minded buzz and a solid, long-lasting stone.
One feels focused and productive. This strain is great for going out in public and engaging socially.
Note: acapulco gold 2x tincture is amazing as well

Last edited by 808_sup_beuh on 1/17/19 at 6:03 AM Pacific

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Herbal Alternatives
1710 Rhode Island Ave, NW Washington,